betsy & baxter

until recently betsy shielded herself whenever baxter came by to say "hello" (ie: licking her ears, etc). but now, when he comes by her face lights up and she shrieks and giggles when he licks her face and she loves to grab onto his soft fur. they've even been playing a little tug-o-war - baxter has figured out that she is, in fact, a useful human and has been bringing her his toys with hopes that maybe SHE will pay attention to him in this house full of busy busy people.

tickled

its how i feel when i see these three snuggled under the quilt i made for reid with my grandmother as my guide.  for awhile it felt "too special" and i kept it tucked away.  and then one day i realized that what made it special was the making of it, yes....but also the using of it. and every time i see my little man run for it or my husband stealing a nap under it, my heart is warmed and i can't help but smile. yes, there will be more quilts made in my future. it makes me way too happy to see others happily enjoying all that they offer. there is just something magical about a momma made quilt.

project toddler: breakthrough

they say two is terrible. i can't say i'd call it that, but until recently it has been exhausting and frustrating and annoying at times. and i can't say its his fault - he is being a perfectly normal two year old boy. and i was experiencing all of those emotions while taking a stab in the dark at how to handle it all. am pretty sure most of those emotions were my own fault. being unprepared to face the day. not getting enough sleep. having unrealistic expectations of him and how he should spend his time. using the tv as a crutch (and furthering the problem while i was at it). i was so frustrated over how many times he was asking for a snack or asking to watch tv. how he was clingy and listless and bored with a house full of what i perceived as "things to do". i knew he wasn't a bad kid and i wasn't a bad mom - i was just clueless and was going about it all wrong. now, i definitely don't have it all figured out but i am trying to approach our days a little differently with some loosely instituted rules in place regarding how i map out our day (around meals and errands and betsy's naps and pete's nap which happens to be at the exact opposite time as betsy's). i am still learning but the difference is now i know i am learning. and i am implementing what i am learning. and i am leaping for joy over the things i am learning and how they are impacting our day.  rule 1: build in space where this boy can run and move and jump and climb without being reprimanded, redirected, scolded or warned.
rule 2: particularly in the down-time of betsy's naps, create a space for him to play at a specific task.
rule 3: understand that children his age play best at imitating.

every morning we walk to the playground via the dog park and for the second leg of our journey he gets to run along the sidewalk in front of me (the back part of the park has a sidewalk that doesn't have a road on either side so it gives him some freedom and i don't have to worry about him scampering into the road). then he runs hard if we stop at the dog park and he runs hard at the playground. this adjustment of letting him out of the stroller has dramatically improved his behavior the rest of the morning because of his intrinsic need to move his body.

i have been two-for-two at creating play spaces for him. i've been reading some great books ("simplicity parenting" and "you are your child's first teacher"...and there are several more waiting on the shelf for their turn) that have influenced my approach and i have to say it works. both days he spent an hour and a half at play, totally oblivious of me or his surroundings, never asking for help or a snack or roaming around looking bored. he stayed right on task, totally focused in the moment. the perfect picture of childhood - a kid totally enthralled in his play.  they both happened to involve my mixing bowls and things to sort. the first day it was colored wooden blocks. the second day it was beans i bought in bulk for this very purpose.  these deep periods of play are so important for his development and they are really good for mommy too - an hour + of quiet for me to tend to the chores of the day.  relaxing and productive, such a huge relief for me.

the other open periods of the day we have recently spent working at a chore together. this morning, for example, we spent an hour together on the side of the house pulling weeds out of our garden area to prepare for planting. sometimes he was pulling weeds. sometimes he was putting rocks into the watering can. sometimes he was moving soil from one spot to the next or peeking through the fence into the neighbors yard, but he was actively engaged in the project and at my side, yet not requiring any special attention. he was happy to be part of the project. similarly this afternoon, we baked cookies together. yes, i had to lower my sanitation, cleanliness and timeline expectations a bit (he wants to touch every single ingredient, he wants to sometimes taste them as they are going into the bowl, things definitely get spread and spilled all over and it takes triple the amount of time it would without him) but honestly, it was a lot of fun. he is understanding the process, he is identifying the ingredients and he is totally thrilled with the whole process of the important work we are doing together. and we're making memories, at least i am. sweet memories of playing at work with my boy.

smoothie face - we've been practicing drinking smoothies as a snack and milk during lunch out of a small mason jar. hoping to ditch the loathed-by-momma sippy cup soon!

it seems like such commonsense but i have seen such a dramatic shift in the flow of our day and both of our moods as a result of this tiny change in my approach to parenting and "filling" our day. am eager to continue reading - learning more about the special place in development that he is at and all the things that best meet his needs, getting creative and coming up with more chores for us to share and more simple curiosities for him to explore. one day at a time. i told my friend this last night: this parenting thing really feels every day like one giant experiment.  and breakthroughs like this, however obvious they may seem, feel like major victories! and as an added bonus, i feel like a good mom at the end of the day!

the park

being a mom in san diego gives me an unfair advantage: we get to the park almost every single day, sometimes more than once a day! also awesome (and heightening the already unfair advantage): we have four different playgrounds and a dog park all within walking distance.  we've been enjoying spectacular weather lately, so much nicer than one can expect even when living in america's finest city (as they call it), and we've been taking full advantage!

our little BIG people

these children keep growing! its miraculous how i can spend all day every single day with them and yet they wake up one morning and i say to myself "they are bigger!" - sometimes it seems you can actually watch the changing happen from one moment to the next. gone are the newborn babes. now its "peter do it" from my 2 year old. he exclaims things and pronounces things and speaks in 3-4 word sentences. he has words for so many things now, its impossible to keep track. and from miss almost 9 months old its go-go-go to explore every single thing.

a weekend with nici

8ish years ago i studied abroad in costa rica and made a fabulous friend - and that friend become like family to me, as did her husband and children. they are an amazing fam, all inspiring to me in different ways and i just love them all dearly. this weekend, nici came out to san diego with her friend kate. they stayed with us, we played hard all over san diego on saturday and spent sunday racing the carlsbad half marathon - followed by some recovery downtime and celebrating that night. it was a fantastic weekend with perfect weather and lots of fun. thanks nici for making the trip!

sweet kids

this boy looks like my mom in this photo. i  mean really really looks like her. funny when he was born reid exclaimed "oh my gosh its my dad" because he DID look just like his dad. and there are other times when he looks just like MY dad. and we've decided that miss betsy is all reid's mom. so cute.

weekend in phoenix

well i did a truly terrible job of capturing photographic evidence of the fun weekend we shared with our friends isaac and gina in phoenix. here are the only pics i took! the car trip took us about 8 ours with 3ish stops along the way for petey potty breaks, getting the dog fresh air, feeding betsy, gassing up the van, etc. the kids did remarkably well and the dogs were perfect! we arrived in time for dinner friday night. pete did pretty well sleeping in a room with 2 twin beds (after i gutted the room of everything but the beds and dresser and put one of the mattresses on the floor between the two beds). miss betsy was amazing and slept soundly the whole weekend, the trip didn't phase her one bit. the only exciting betsy news to report was her mastering the stairs while we were there! yes, she really is old enough to be climbing up stairs now. insane. saturday morning we hit the awesome farmers market and then later i took betsy and the dogs for a loooong walk through a nearby park and then to a dogpark. yeah scottsdale.  saturday night gina's sister watched the kids after we put them to bed so we could enjoy a night out together, what a refreshingly fun time we had. i love adult dates! sunday everyone hit the park while betsy napped and i cooked up a fritatta to share. then the bears game was the highlight of the afternoon. sunday night their friend sarah (where there's one there are always more) cooked a delicious dinner for us to share at the townhouse where we stayed (thank you macchiaroli family!). we stayed up way too late every single night chatting and joking into the night. monday morning came quickly and we tossed everything in the van and made the trek home. it was really nice to get home early enough to have a normal afternoon - i unpacked and did lots of laundry and worked on dinner while reid took pete and the dogs to the dog park for a good romp after being stuck in the van all day. really the road trip was pretty easy considering the fact that we had lots of needy little beings crammed into a minivan for a long drive. and we made it home with oodles of grapefruit from gina's parents' trees. bonus!

betsy on the go

well, she's been crawling for about a week now. last week it was just a little wiggle here and a little motion there. but over the weekend, she decided to show off for her grandparents and really pick it up a knotch. now she's unstoppable! here's the video