#3 at 30 weeks

i'm in awe....really, its been 30 weeks of growing along with my babe?  the passage of time has shifted into hyper-speed lately, and i suppose i am grateful for that since there are so many grand things on the horizon.  there has been much activity catching my attention from within these past few weeks. so much more movement and readjustment now that he is big and strong. and my body has been adjusting and preparing, both to support his rapidly growing body and to get ready for his birth-day.  this time its  as if i am watching the changes happen, much more consciously than before.  and there have been many more braxton hicks contractions this time than i experienced with big brother or big sister....its all ok and normal and safe, its just new and different. just a tiny reminder  
"take it easy, we've still got some growing to do together, but it won't be too much longer to wait"
it seems he is riding lower too which has accelerated me into the early stages of super-pregnant-lady waddling about.  all these changes are blessings to me as they remind me to slow down and start focusing more attention and energy on myself and baby.  of course, its at about this time that my nesting "disease" has kicked into overdrive, so its a balancing act of sorts around here. whirlwinds of business and energy-draining insanity (which are greatly productive and so delicious) combined with just sitting and being and thinking and doting on this tiny one who i am so very excited to meet.

30 weeks. that means in just SEVEN short weeks he will be considered full term and can come on out any time he pleases. seven!  i'm giddy over how little time there is remaining to wait.  his arrival will be such a special event, certainly different in its own way than either of our other two beautiful birth stories....am so anxious to unwrap all the magic of the details.  am so grateful to be surrounded by loving, supportive ladies who will be by my side to lift me up and hold my hand and fill me with empowerment and strength. am so grateful for such an incredible husband who has been so good at reaching out to me from around the world, to keep us as close as possible during these last special weeks, despite the enormity of our separation. am so blessed for a mother and a mother-in-love who are at the ready to swoop in when the time is right and tend to my older babes and dote a little on a new momma too in the days that follow his arrival. i know its futile to attempt to imagine what he'll look like or feel like in those first seconds i bring him to my chest and fall to pieces, head over heels in love with another amazing child.  i know its impossible to conjure up the magic contained in those first few moments,...hours...days. but i am certainly excited beyond measure. because this time, this third time, that i am blessed to become a mother again, i am more conscious than ever of the magnitude of his birth-day. the emotions and pride and empowerment and transformation that comes with laboring and child birth. the wave of euphoria i know i'll feel again,  as i reach down and bring my babe into my arms with an awesome cheering squad watching it all happen (and taking pictures for daddy!).  i am not naive to think there won't be some sadness in those first few moments of togetherness on that precious day, knowing that half way around the world, this perfect little baby's father is dying to see him, touch him....meet him. and me wishing with all my might to share that moment with him, to be kissed by him and wrapped up in his arms and see the joy and pride dancing in his eyes just as i have twice before.  to watch him swaddle that babe up and ever so carefully drive his wife and new child home in a protective way only a daddy can do.  i know that this moment is when i will most need the lifting up of my amazing team of ladies who i love so dearly. this will surely be the biggest trial of the birth-day...clinging to the joy and magic of the moment as the shadow of emptiness, of missing my other half creeps into my heart, once the work of the day is done.  please know my darling that your love will be known to this child, no matter the distance.  he is so blessed to come into this world with you as his father.  and despite the bit of emptiness the other half of the bed will carry that day, i know there is another joyful day right around the corner - when his daddy will get to scoop his entire family up into his arms, including his newest son, and kiss us all one by one - his family. that day when we all go home together, the five of us, will be #3's second birth-day of sorts - the day when his family will again be complete.