36 weeks, 2 days

not that i'm counting. :) i've actually been very tuned in to the passage of time with this growing baby, particularly because miss betsy caught us so by surprise when she arrived three weeks before her guess-date.  37 weeks is considered full term and "safe" for arrival and because i've been having multiple braxton hicks contractions since right around thanksgiving and because the past month i've been having what have felt like painless, early-labor surges throughout my days, i have been even more accutely attuned to the passage of time, willing and praying for the baby to stay put at least until 37 weeks (if he were to come early, we would not be able to birth at the birth center due to possible preterm complications). as we near the 37 week mark, i can feel all that anxiety slowly releasing, as i am more and more able to get back to trusting my body and baby to know what its doing. my goodness, the female body is designed so perfectly for growing and birthing babies, but our culture has associated so much fear with the process and assigned so much doubt to our own innate abilities. i am grateful for such a smooth pregnancy again and looking forward to sharing another beautiful birth-day journey with our little man.
it will be so exciting to see how all the details of the day unfold as so many things are not set in stone. i'm grateful i've learned to give up control of things over which i truly have no control at all, a lesson that apparently only motherhood could teach me.  this week continues to be a flurry of activity as i direct all my attention to getting our ducks in a row, everything prepped and ready so that this weekend i may shift down into "waiting gear" and rest an relax until baby chooses his day. i am grateful for the arrival of my mother-in-law this weekend to further facilitate the downshift in required activities in my momma-day. it is so nice to have help and to feel taken care of and most importantly to know my two sweet littles will be tended to around the clock, even if i need a nap and especially when i slip out of the house when the time comes to meet our third sweet babe. 
i have been swooning this week with gratitude for the love and support that is swirling around me everywhere i go here in san diego. i finally feel home with so many close friends to lift me up and give me the energy and support and love i need in this time of transition, especially with my very best friend/darling husband so very, very far away. thank you to all of you for loving our family with all of your might, it makes this period of change even more special for us! xoxo

36 weeks 2 days, in front of the door to the birthing room where peter was born