two.

my little man is two today. two years ago his arrival totally transformed me and i'm grateful for the beautiful gift in him. was he really ever that tiny? it almost seems like a dream that he was ever a baby. and yet, i know he was at one time the sweetest little babe and the moment i met him i was smitten.

carrying him in my belly as he grew, i knew something special was happening. i went from the girl who "wanted babies someday....after i have a career and...." to the woman who was ecstatic to be giving birth to her first.  i learned about the beauty of childbirth and was encourage and empowered by my wonderful friend and doula. and together, reid and i embarked down a path that caused many to raise their eyebrows - but i am so thankful we chose that path. and we were blessed to share the most beautiful of gentle birth stories - the first hands to touch my babe were those of his momma who pulled him right up to her chest and there he stayed for a few hours. those first hours as a little family of three were pure perfection.

looking into your eyes that first day i finally knew my place in the world - i was your momma - a responsibility of gigantic proportion, one i am so very proud to carry. you've created new possibilities, new joys, new priorities (and certainly new fears and worries, that's what moms do, right?) and new paths to explore. i learned oh-so-very-much about the "process" of caring for a baby and now a toddler; i can still remember the despair and panic and sadness i felt in my heart the first time you had a fever and i had no idea what to do. such helplessness - and all i wanted to do was take the fever for you so you could feel safe and healthy and happy. and i think as a mother, that desire will never change - i will never want you to feel sickness or sadness or discomfort or unhappiness or disappointment, ever. and i will always do everything in my power to protect you from those things and to teach you how to deal with them on your own when you won't let me take care of you someday. i know that someday will come.

you've always been a happy little guy. strong and curious and busy. you love your pup baxter with all your being.  you are brave and adventurous and have mastered all the toughest tricks at the playground. you love to name every item you see as we stroll through the neighborhood. truck. rock. flower. dog. moon. cloud. you love to watch the world go by as momma runs fast (and you say "go go go!"), as long as you have your juice and a snack you are a happy camper in the jogger.  you sing "hi!" and wave to everyone we meet. you especially like to talk to the ladies who bag our food at the grocery store. sometimes you pretend to be shy when you meet new people. you love your baby sister and always tell me to "shhh shhh shhh" when she falls a sleep in the car. i am so proud that you are able to potty like a big boy! you blow your nose all by yourself and throw trash where it belongs. you are the great commentator of our day and announce to me everything you see and everything we do with great gusty - and continue to tell me about it until i repeat back to you that what you've described is correct. your favorite phrase is "good morning" and you say it sweetly in your very best flight attendant sing-song voice throughout the day. you know what dinner and lunch is yet you call every meal breakfast.  

you are always clutching a lucky truck in your hand, its never the same one but you always choose the right one for the job. your favorites are the red monster truck and the bobcat loader from grandma. you love to show off for your viewers on skype and are always excited to say hello - although you don't often sit around long to chat. instead you give them a show as you romp about the room and do your thing while we all watch and chuckle. you are so happy your daddy is home from his deployment to afghanistan and now act as though your life is complete with him home to do things the way only daddies and their little boys do them. running and wrestling and the two of you play in your "tunnel" under a blanket on the couch, chattering away about airplanes and trucks and baxter and whatever else is on your mind. i've never seen you so at ease or so absorbed in what you are doing for so long as you are when you're with your daddy. you two are a perfect fit.

you love airplanes but might love helicopters just a little bit more. you know just about every noise any animal makes and are learning to count and sing some phrases from some songs. while you never sing along with mommy, i catch you singing to yourself when you think i'm not listening. "the wheels on the bus" and "row row row your boat" are two of your favorites although lately you've added "jingle bells" to your repertoire.  you love to kiss and ticklet betsy and bring blankets to cover her up. when she spits up you say "uh oh" and run to get her burp cloth and wipe her face for her. you love running around the house with baxter's toys and you squeal with delight when he chases you to try and steal them.  you tell me the christmas tree is "pretty" and love looking out the window at the neighbor's christmas lights.  your favorite breakfast is yogurt, pancakes and clementines. you request ice and apple (juice) in your sippy cup. you love to go bye bye and are always a happy camper when we're zooming around san diego in our minivan. every time we pass under a bridge or an overpass you shout "tunnel!"  you love animals but are still too nervous to ride a pony - maybe next year? you are so observant and see things that most of us never even notice - and i never question you when you tell me you see something that i don't because if i look hard enough you are ALWAYS right.

when you see a fly on the window you grab your orange skillet from your play kitchen and whack it against the window like you see me do with the fly swatter. you love to help me cook and always ask to see as i'm mixing the ingredients together. you love to impersonate the sounds the hand mixer and tea pot make.  you love offering to help people blow on their hot coffee and always ask for a drink. your favorite snack is yogurt covered raisins.  you are most in your element when you are outside with the sun shining and an open place to run and a playground to climb on. one of your favorite places is the dog park we walk to nearly every day. you are so at ease as all the dogs frolic around you and you are always so sweet and loving when you meet them. you're always concerned about adding water to their water bowls. you love throwing the balls they bring to play with. you love being perched in the trees there. and you love getting kisses from all those dogs.

you love sweets and you love snacks but you are a great eater and try just about anything at least once. you are a good boy about eating your vegetables most of the time, especially if there is a promise of a cookie at the end. you love to read books and will sit and listen to stories all day. you love to watch movies, your favorites are "cars" and "babe".  you are a busy little man and have a hard time slowing down enough to nap but eventually you run out of gas and snuggle into your big boy bed, cover yourself up with your blanket, cuddle your sippy cup into the nook of your arm with your pug doll at one end of your pillow and your bunny at the other and go to sleep with your knees tucked under you for about an hour and a half. and not a second longer.  when you wake up you need to be held for a few minutes until you are really able to wake up and then you are ready to play full throttle until its time for dinner.  you love to help me get the mail and are especially excited when something arrives for you.  one of your favorite tricks is to hide something then ask me "where did it go?" - and when i play along you get a big grin on your face and pull the lost (hidden) toy from its hiding place and proclaim "there it is!" - you are such a charmer.

you are such a happy spirit and despite being a two year old boy, you are really starting to understand the concept of being gentle.  you are such a joy, my little one, and i am so very excited to see all the wonderful changes that happen in you during your second year! thank you for all the love and laughter and happiness you bring to our family! we are so blessed to have you in our lives.